


I Try

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst, Episode Tag, Episode: s06e14 The Wake Up Call, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-07-05
Updated: 2005-07-05
Packaged: 2019-05-30 13:09:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15097352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of theWest Wing Fanfiction Central, a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in theannouncement post.





	I Try

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**I Try**

**by: Linz**

**Character(s):** Ensemble  
**Pairing(s):** Jed/Leo  
**Category(s):** Romance, Angst, Post-Ep  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Disclaimer:** Oh yeah, I own them right, and I am actually the queen of England too!  
**Spoiler:** Wake Up Call  
**Feedback:** Ok, so this was my first J &L fic, please let me know what you think!!! Good, bad, and ugly!!!  
**Author's Note:** Ok So I don't think I was the only one pissed off about this episode so I'm rectifying it. This is my first Jed/Leo West Wing Fanfic but all feedback is helpful! Also I know people around here are too fond of song fics and this isn't one of them but I was listening to a song while I was writing this and it just fits so I stole the title for my story... the song is "I Try" by Macy Gray. And I gotta thank Marcia for the awesome Beta work, and keeping me motivated, when I was so often distracted! You're the best girl! 

__

Games, changes and fears   
When will they go from here   
When will they stop   
I believe that fate has brought us here   
And we should be together babe   
But we're not   
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you   
And I'll try to keep my cool, but I'm feenin' 

I try to say goodbye and I choke   
Try to walk away and I stumble   
Though I try to hide it, it's clear   
My world crumbles when you are not here   
Goodbye and I choke   
I try to walk away and I stumble   
Though I try to hide it, it's clear   
My world crumbles when you are not here 

I may appear to be free   
But I'm just a prisoner of your love   
And I may seem all right and smile when you leave   
But my smiles are just a front   
Just a front, hey   
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you   
And I'll try to keep my cool, but I'm feenin' 

I try to say goodbye and I choke   
Try to walk away and I stumble   
Though I try to hide it, it's clear   
My world crumbles when you are not here   
Goodbye and I choke   
I try to walk away and I stumble   
Though I try to hide it, it's clear   
My world crumbles when you are not here 

Here is my confession   
May I be your possession   
Boy, I need your touch   
Your love, kisses and such   
With all my might I try   
But this I can't deny   
Deny 

I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you   
(but I'm dreaming of you babe)   
And I'll keep my cool, but I'm feenin' 

I try to say goodbye and I choke (yeah)   
Try to walk away and I stumble   
Though I try to hide, it's clear   
My world crumbles when you are not near   
(when you are not near aahh)   
Goodbye and I choke (yeah, yeah, yeah)   
I try to walk away and I stumble (hey, hey, hey)   
Though I try to hide it, it's clear (say it lord)   
My world crumbles when you are not here 

Goodbye and I choke (I'm choking)   
I try to walk away and I stumble   
Though I try to hide it, it's clear   
My world crumbles when you are not near   
(when you are not near, yeah, yeah yeah)   
Yeah, yeah.. 

The First Lady was gone on a trip to God knows where promoting women's rights. It was already eight o'clock and CJ knew the President was still in the Oval Office. She knew she had to get him to go to the residence soon or the First Lady would be after her head first thing tomorrow. As she entered the Oval, the President started rambling about his Valentine's Day plans with the First Lady. 

"Ok Sir, it's late and you have a six a.m. call tomorrow morning, I think you should head up to the residence." 

"Really? Because, CJ, I was thinking we'd gather the boys up and head out for a night on the town, you know, kick our heels up." 

"First off Sir, in case you haven't noticed, there are no more boys. It's me, Toby, and Leo, who I don't think will be partying anytime soon. And if you remember, every time we kick our heels up someone always happens to get themselves arrested, usually Charlie and Toby." CJ remembered the good ol' days when Charlie got arrested after Zoey was being harassed at the bar with the crew and Mallory and the time in California when Toby and Charlie got arrested after someone started to harass Andy. 

"I guess you're right Claudia Jean, the boys have all grown up and moved on. I can't say I'm not proud of them though." 

Just then Toby walked into the Oval with some professor. Oh no, CJ thought, this is it, he'll never go to the residence now. The President did not think twice about taking the opportunity to talk to the professor. He loved this stuff. This could go on for hours. They sat down after introductions and talked for a while. The door to the Oval slowly opened. CJ had no idea who it could be. As far as she knew pretty much everyone was gone for the night. In walked the once so strong, rock of everyone's Gibraltar. If one could see just how the President's face lights up as soon as Leo walks in a room, they would be dumbstruck. 

"Leo!" the President cheered. 

"Sir," Leo replied and nodded to everyone else in the room. Toby introduced Leo to the professor. Leo now understood exactly what was going on in the Oval at this hour. 

"Leo, come sit, we are discussing constitutions of the world," the president said with enthusiasm, praying Leo wouldn't leave. 

"As entirely gruesome as that sounds, I actually need to borrow you for a minute," Leo looked at CJ and shook his head to let her know what they needed to discuss was not White House related. CJ thought to herself, oh good maybe Leo can get the President to the residence. The President thought about arguing with Leo but caught the look in his eyes daring him to say no and see what happened next. Deciding not to take that dare, the President got up and followed Leo out to the portico. 

"What is it Leo?" 

"What the hell are you doing in there?" Leo asked, not angrily but in a reprimanding tone. 

"Having an intellectual conversation with an intelligent man," Jed answered smugly. 

"Try again Sir," Leo said, giving his own version of the evil eye. 

Now annoyed for being called on his actions, the President answered. "Oh shut up Leo! If you have all the right answers why are you asking?" 

"Sir, it's late and you are sitting in the Oval talking bullshit with a man you have no true respect for because he will never question your statements which probably make no sense anyway because you are just making them up as you go along. You are bored out of your mind and avoiding going back to the residence and since Abbey's out of town you know you can get away with it. Now I know all of that from being in that room for all of sixty seconds, so you want to question me now?" 

"If you want me to go back to the residence so badly, why don't you join me" Jed asked in his best seductive tone. 

"Well why don't we get rid of this asshole then give you an hour of playing some poker with CJ, Toby, myself, Charlie and maybe even Debbie. Then if you behave I'll go up to the residence with you." 

"Sounds like a deal," Jed replied smiling. 

Jed and Leo haven't spent much time together since the heart attack and when they have it has been so superficial.  An old remedy they have both used for ages is to ignore what's really bothering them an act like nothing is wrong. The duo walked back into the Oval. Jed continued to bullshit with the professor. Leo pulled CJ over and informed her of his plan. 

"Leo, you'll be the one I send the First Lady to when she wants my head tomorrow." 

"Just send her my way CJ; I've been dealing with her for over thirty years now." 

"Professor, it's been so nice chatting with you but I'm afraid we must still discuss a few affairs with the President. Hopefully we will be able to do this again sometime," CJ said kindly. They all respectfully excused themselves. Toby walked the professor out. As soon as the professor was out the door, Leo turned to CJ and the President. He wanted them both to hear this at the same time. 

"Let there be no misunderstanding, if the President ever so much as thinks about pulling another stunt like that CJ, I am not the First Lady and although I may no longer possess the title of Chief of Staff or work in an adjoining office to the President, you call me, and trust me he will do as I say, or so help him God," Leo ended with a deadly look in his eye aimed directly at the president. 

"Yes Sir," CJ replied with mock salute towards Leo. 

The President just turned to look out the window with his hands in his pockets and rolled his eyes. 

"Ok, let's play some poker," Leo stated in a cheerful tone. 

"Are you ready to lose some money Claudia Jean?" the President asked. 

"In case you haven't noticed Sir, I don't get paid enough to lose that much." 

"Hit Leo up for some cash, he's the rich one of the group," the President replied. 

Toby walked back into the Oval with Debbie following him. He had two cigars in his hand and handed one to the President. The President took the cigar hesitantly and looked at Leo waiting for him to say something about it. Surprisingly, he didn't. Leo had seen what went on. He'd reasoned that although he loved Jed, he wasn't his mother. If he wanted a cigar once in a blue moon, then who was Leo to stop him? At least he can enjoy something. 

"Let play," Debbie interrupted Leo's thoughts. 

"Boy times have changed," the President said thoughtfully as they played. "I hope Josh is ok out there on his own." 

"He's fine Mr. President," Toby answered in a cold tone. 

"Toby, get off your prissy ass and stop acting like you are more honorable than he is. Do you know how hard it was for him to come to me and tell me what he was doing? I assured him he was not abandoning me. If I called him right now and said he needed to come back because I needed his help he would be on a plane before I hung up the phone. He is just fulfilling his destiny. He did the right thing and you know it. He believes in this Santos. If he does, so do I and I think I speak for Leo on that also. He is going to need your help soon and he will need yours too CJ and Charlie. You guys can't abandon him. Together the group of you are unstoppable, you got me here, remember? You need to work together not against each other. Understood?" the President finished his tirade sternly. 

"I know Mr. President. I will," Toby answered. 

"I hear even Donna has deserted him," Debbie said. 

Leo interjected, "I wouldn't say deserted him but rather she is putting him in his place. She will go back to him as soon as he humbles himself and asks after a heartfelt apology. He takes her for granted." 

An hour passed quickly and Leo brought the game to an end. "It's been a nice evening guys but it's late and I'm not as young as the rest of you so let's call it a night." 

"Goodnight all and thank you...for everything," the President sincerely stated. 

The President walked out with Leo following behind him. They walked in silence, no words needed. The President knew that Leo was behind him and Leo knew the President knew. Jed walked into his room in the residence and Leo followed him. Jed walked over to the wet bar and poured himself a glass of brandy and Leo a glass of water. He walked over to Leo, handed him the glass and sat down on the couch. Leo sat down next to him with one leg bent under the other so he could look at Jed. Jed sipped his brandy, closed his eyes and leaned his head back. 

"Jed?" 

"Hmmm?" 

"How are you feeling?" 

"Physically or mentally?" 

"Both." 

"God Leo I miss you," Jed breathed out in an exhausted tone. 

"I'm here now. I made the mistake. I shouldn't have left, but I'll be around from now on, I swear. You have picked up the pieces for me before, it's my turn to reciprocate." 

"I'm selfish for letting you do this, but I can't do it without you." 

"And you won't have to. Why don't you get into bed? I know you're tired." 

"Will you stay?" Jed asked in an almost scared but pleading tone. 

"There's no place I'd rather be." 

"Ok," Jed replied as he walked to the bathroom to wash up and change. Leo took off his suit jacket and tie, and after undoing the first few buttons of his dress shirt, he sat down to take off his shoes, then laid back on the bed and waited for Jed to finish up in the bathroom. Jed came out in his boxers and a white undershirt. 

"I remember the days when these positions were reversed. I was usually waiting for you to finish cleaning up in the bathroom," Jed said. 

"I wish I could remember," Leo replied thoughtfully, "I just remember waking up the next morning in your arms feeling safe." 

Jed gave a half smile. He was definitely not used to being the party in need of help. Jed crawled into bed and Leo wrapped his arms around him. Jed was able to relax for the first time in months. "Just because you took a break from the White House Leo, doesn't mean you had to leave me." 

"Jed, let me promise you something here and now. We were together long before this White House and we will remain together long after our time here has passed. I just let someone get to me who I shouldn't have." 

"Will you be here in the morning?" 

"I don't think I feel like dealing with Abbey just yet, but I will be around in the afternoon." 

"Ok, night Leo," Jed says as he leans over to give Leo a peck on the lips. 

"I love you Jed, and more importantly, I believe in you, don't EVER forget that," Leo says and leans over to kiss Jed on the lips. 

"I know, I love you too." Jed replied, surprised by Leo's unusual declaration, but more surprised by how badly he'd needed to hear it. 

CJ had finally gotten home and collapsed on her bed at close to 1am. Around 3:30am her phone rang and she was needed in the situation room at the White House. She had no idea how Leo managed this job. No wonder the man had a heart attack, and he was a good 20 years older than she. 

She arrived at the sit room and Kate briefed her. Pakistani forces had shot down a plane. Kate told CJ that they would need the President to make a call at some point. She also informed CJ that the President usually liked to call the prime minister to talk her down. Walking back into her office, CJ yelled at Margaret to get the prime minister on the phone. While waiting, CJ called the First Lady, who was still out on her women's rights trip. She informed the First Lady of the situation and that she would need to wake the President at some point. She asked Abbey when she could do that. The First Lady ripped into CJ about the President being up late last night and insisted that CJ wait until 6am to wake the President. CJ continued with her calls and as soon as 6am rolled around CJ, Charlie and Kate went up to the residence and woke the President, informing him of the situation. An hour later the President, along with the rest of the crew, walked into the Oval Office. 

"Debbie, get me the Prime Minister on the phone," the President barked. 

"Actually Sir, I already spoke to her," CJ said. 

"Damn it CJ, you spoke to her without me? I need to speak with her! I have to talk her down," the President yelled. 

"Sir," CJ began, but was cut off by the President. 

"Get me Leo!" The president yelled to Debbie, when in fact the entire west wing staff probably heard him. 

Within the hour Leo came walking into the Oval. It was just the two of them in the Oval now. 

"I leave you for a few short hours and look what happens," Leo said jokingly to Jed. 

"She called the prime minister without me." 

"She didn't know Sir," Leo said, trying to calm him down. 

"Leo, I can't do it again," Jed said, putting his hands in his pockets and ducking his head. "I can't go down to that sit room again in a few minutes without you." 

"You have to trust her sir, and you don't." 

"I love her like I love Liz, Ellie and Zoey, but she doesn't know foreign policy." 

"Oh, and you were the expert when you started?" Leo asked, giving Jed the look only he could, with one eyebrow raised. 

"I can't stand being down there without you sitting next to me. I never felt like I belonged there. You were the one who ran the show; I just showed up to repeat whatever you said." 

"You can do this; you just have to trust yourself. But I'll go down there with you now, we all know how you like to overreact and you are already in rare form this morning." Leo added that last part in knowing he would get a rise out 

"I resent that Leo. I'm bright and cheery, like always." 

Leo ignored him and walked to the door holding it open, waiting for the President to walk through. As they walked to the sit room some humorous memories of their times in the sit room together sprang to Leo's mind: their discussions on walks to the sit room including conversations about Lucy and Peanuts; their first sit room fight. The First Lady may have had the Oval Office but Leo had had the sit room. Of course, Leo and the President had done battle in the Oval Office many a time as well. 

"Remember the time you referred to me as honey in front of the Joint Chiefs? I could have killed you," Leo reminded Jed. 

"The look on your face was worth it. I miss those days. Who would have ever thought that we would be referring to those days as the good ol' days?" Jed replied with that cute half smile thing he does. 

"We will have more memories like that when we write your book." 

"Well I'm glad YOU decided that WE are writing MY book. Welcome back Leo." 

They got to the door outside the sit room; Leo scanned his hand like always and opened the door for the President to walk in. Everyone in the sit room rose out of respect for the President. Two of the uniformed men looked at Leo then at each other and started clapping; everyone else in the room joined in, including the President. Leo put his head down; he couldn't help but smile from embarrassment. Jed looked at him, chuckled and patted him on the back. Kate looked at Leo and said, "Welcome back." 

The President chimed in, "I never got an ovation like that and I've been shot...I think my power in this room is definitely second to yours," he paused a beat, "honey." Jed threw that last word in there for the fun of it, then looked at Leo out of the corner of his eye. The look on Leo's face was priceless. 

"I highly doubt that Sir," Leo replied, trying to regain his composure and start the meeting. Everyone sat down and they began to brief the President. Leo immediately fell back into his usual role in the sit room, taking charge of the situation and acting as military translator for the President. For the first time in a long time Kate noticed that the President was visibly relaxed. She realized that even though Leo had a new office, he was still very much the Presidents right-hand man. 

Back in CJ's office things were not going as well. 

"CJ, the First Lady is here to see you," Margaret announced. 

"Send her in Margaret." 

"My my Claudia Jean, things seem to be getting a little messy down here," Abbey strolled in, looking a bit undone. 

"Good morning Ma'am," CJ replied. 

"CJ, why is it that my husband was down here until close to 11pm last night and needed to be woken up before 6am this morning? He is not well, CJ, and his body can't take this strain, damn it." Abbey was frustrated. 

"Ma'am, I say this with all due respect, I have been informed to tell you if you have a problem, talk to Leo." 

"Leo? Why the hell is he involved in this?" Abbey asked in an irate tone. 

"He was here last night and said when you were on the prowl searching for blood today to send you his way." 

"Jackass," Abbey mumbled under her breath, "Damn it CJ, he is not well either. He just had a massive heart attack, he's lucky to be alive. Why can't the two of them just take care of themselves? By the way, if you see Leo before I do tell him I said he's a jackass for his comments," the First Lady added bitterly as she left CJ's office. 

After they'd finished in the sit room Leo walked the President back to the Oval Office. 

"Will I see you later" Jed asked Leo hopefully. 

"I'll be around," Leo replied with a wink and left. 

While in this area of the West Wing Leo thought he would visit with Margaret for minute. She always kept Leo filled in. She had been with him for a long time now and Leo knew where her loyalty lay. She knew many of his secrets too. Jed always had Mrs. Landingham and Leo had Margaret, they were both the best, and very observant. Jed and Leo were kidding themselves if they thought those two didn't know what was going on between the two of them. 

"Margaret," Leo said as he walked up to her desk. 

"Hey Leo." 

"How are things going?" 

"Not so good. He is a mess and CJ is doubting herself, not to mention a wild First Lady that just stormed out of here. Heads up, she mentioned something about you being a jackass." 

"Thanks for the warning, looks like I'm safe here for a while" Leo chuckled, "same ol' Abbey." 

"Leo is that you out there?" CJ called from her office. 

"Yeah CJ," Leo answered. 

"Can I see you a minute?" CJ asked. 

"Sure," Leo replied, walking into her office "What's up?" 

"There is a situation in Pakistan," CJ began. 

"I know. I was just in the sit room with the President." 

"Damn it, why didn't I know? I should have been there. He doesn't trust me Leo. I don't know how to do this," CJ lamented. 

"CJ, relax, he's just going through a lot right now. He loves you like you were his own, but you're right, he doesn't trust you like he should. It's not your fault though. It's just how he is." 

"Abbey just stormed out of here. By the way she's out for your blood." 

"Yeah I heard, Margaret gave me the message. What did she have to say?" 

"She was just pissed about the time he went to bed last night and his early 6am wake up call this morning. I wanted to wake him up earlier but she said I couldn't. Then he was pissed I called the Prime Minister instead of him." 

"Ok, CJ you don't answer to the First Lady, remember that. Let her scream and yell, she's not mad at you, she's mad at him, and that's not your problem. Unfortunately, it's mine," Leo said ruefully. "Anyway secondly, would it have made a difference if you had woken him or not? The prime minister could have waited for his call. He calls the Prime Minister, CJ. He's a world class negotiator, you can't take all his power away from him. His whole life he has always been the smarter one. The MS is not affecting his mind, you have to let him use it." Taking a deep breath, he went on, "I don't know how to explain it CJ, I have known him for over 40 years, and it's beyond trust now, it's instinct. You wouldn't believe how insecure he still is in that sit room. CJ, you have to lean on me, don't hesitate to call anytime. I don't want the title, but it's what needs to be done" Leo finished up his long monologue. 

"Thank you Leo, it means a lot. I have no idea how you did this job, your support is greatly appreciated, you know him better than anyone. By the way the First Lady also flipped out on me when she heard you were here late last night. So I don't know how good of an idea this is." 

"I'll handle Abbey." 

"Ok" CJ accepted. "I had originally called to ask you about two things. One, could you meet with Chet for me? I don't have Josh here anymore, and God do I miss him. It's weird the Senior Staff meeting are not quite as animated without him," she said in an understatement. 

Leo gave a slight grunt at that and then replied, "CJ, it's no problem," then stood to leave. 

"Also Leo, Miss America???" 

"Ohhhhhh I miss those days," Leo replied with a smile and left. CJ just stood behind her desk, rolled her eyes and smiled. She was glad Leo was back. 

The President was in the Oval Office working on a strategy with a few people, one of whom was Kate. The First Lady peered into the Oval Office from the doorframe by Charlie's desk. Charlie and Debbie weren't there. Damn it, she thought to herself, he is supposed to be taking a nap right now. She called Kate over, and Kate came out of the Oval. 

"Kate, he needs to be out of this meeting right now." 

"I think you should run that by CJ, Mrs. Bartlet." 

The First Lady stated in no uncertain terms that either Kate pulled him out of the meeting, or she would, in a less professional manner. So Kate walked back into the Oval and ended the meeting. The President got up, stormed out of the Oval and walked right past Abbey with a look that could kill. He knew she made Kate do that and he just couldn't deal with her right now. Abbey thought to herself, job well done. Now off to deal with the next jackass who can't take care of himself. 

Leo was in his office looking over notes for his meeting with Chet. He realized that no matter the consequences, he needed to put his health on hold for the duration of this presidency just as much as Jed had to. Jed might be the man in the office but he was the man behind the man in the office. When Josh had asked Leo to go with him to meet Santos, God did he want to go. But he had found his President, Josh would never have with Santos what they all had shared with Bartlet, but Josh would figure that out on his own. There was another Jed out there, Leo thought, well no one is another Jed thank God for that, he amended in his head, but the closest thing to him is in California. Leo was brought out of his thoughts when a crazy woman otherwise known as Abigail Bartlet stormed into his office. 

"Leo, of all the cockamamie, thoughtless, haphazard things you could do, putting my husband's health in danger is never something I would have expected." 

As Abbey ranted Leo calmly got up, walked over to the door, and closed it. "I see you are a little wound up today Abbey," Leo replied calmly when she'd finished. He knew his tone would unnerve her. She needed to yell and scream. If she were looking to pick a fight with someone, better him than someone else. Leo would let her pick it. Jed didn't need this from her right now. Jed couldn't get his blood pressure up, but he didn't know how to keep it in check. Jed and Abbey were both very stubborn and headstrong people and could never let a fight pass. 

"Wound up Leo, wound up!" Abbey repeated, raising her voice, "Yeah you could say that, jackass. I have a husband who just happens to be the President of the United States, who has Multiple Sclerosis, and is totally ignoring the fact that a fever could be fatal. Then the one person in the world who loves him just as much as I do is not helping him, but making it worse. Oh and did I mention that person had a heart attack less then 6 months ago, and is also not taking care of himself? And listen to me, the one thing outside of the MS that could kill my husband is something happening to this person. So yeah, God damn it Leo, you could say that I'm a little wound up," Abbey finished, exhaled loudly and sat down. 

Leo just stared at her and said, "Feel better?" 

"Jesus Christ Leo!" Abbey screamed, exasperated by Leo's calmness. Leo thanked God that this room was soundproof. "I need a drink" Abbey mumbled under her breath. Well, if she were looking for a reaction that did it. 

"Excuse me, you need a what? Would you like some water?" Leo asked with a lethal, sarcastic tone. 

"Oh shut up Leo." 

"Or maybe you would like some scotch to wash down those pills you have been taking for 2 years," he paused at her shocked look. "What? Abbey, do you think just because you banned me from the residence and your family that I do not know what's going on? If that is the case then you really have lost your mind," Leo was now raising his voice. 

"I'm not you, Leo." 

"Don't you dare sit there and accuse me of deserting him. He said the same thing to me last night. The one thing worse than me deserting him would be him finding out what you are doing. Abbey, he's not dead yet and neither am I." 

Abbey finally broke down and just cried. "I'm sorry Leo. He just won't listen to me. It's like he's trying to kill himself and for the first time ever, you weren't there to help him." 

"I wasn't there because YOU frightened him into thinking I would die if I continued here. YOU became selfish Abbey, and YOU are insecure and out of control. You can't tell CJ how to do her job or undermine her. He feels like you are acting like his mother, not his wife. So Abbey, you need to put yourself back together so you can support him and not control him. I'm back Abbey, and I'm not leaving again, so don't even try it. Jed and I both said that this job could kill us and it just may, but that's our decision to make." 

"I know Leo, I know" Abbey said with a resigned tone, "And Leo" she threw over her shoulder while heading towards the door, "Don't be a stranger to the residence. Its killing Jed, he still thinks your heart attack is his fault. He thinks he betrayed you at Camp David." 

"Do you mean that Abbey? In 40 years nothing has kept me out of his bedroom. I always gave you the power though, all you had to do was ask and you did. I can fix this Abbey, but we need your support too." 

"You have it now." 

"Abbey, you need to talk to him, not yell at him, but talk to him, or he's going to blow something out of the sky, and I'll have to clean up that mess," Leo gets up to give Abbey a kiss on the cheek before she turns to go. 

"I will Leo, thank you." 

When Abbey had left, Leo thought to himself, that wasn't so bad, it could have been worse. Then he gathered his notes and headed off to his meeting with Chet. 

Leo finished up his meeting, and it did not go so badly. He was on his way to meet CJ in her office. CJ was just getting back from another meeting. They both ran into each other some where around the communications bullpen and Leo followed CJ in the direction of her office. Toby started walking behind them he needed to discuss something with CJ. As they both arrived, the Prime Minister was on TV, with other staffers standing around watching it. 

"Shit," Leo exclaimed, "CJ this may be one of those times that you want to wake him. Go, I'll think of a plan, but we don't want him seeing this." 

"Right, I'm on my way." 

Just as she said that the door flew open with an out of control President storming through. This was enough to make most people tremble, which CJ basically did, but Leo just crossed his arms over his chest, rolled his eyes and exhaled. 

"Why the hell did this happen?! How the hell did this happen?! And please tell me why the hell I had to find out about this on TV!!" the President screamed. 

"Mr. President," CJ began, but was quickly cut off by the president again. 

"Forget it CJ, I don't want to hear it. If you can't handle this job let me know because..." 

Now it was Leo's turn to interrupt. He was the only person in the world who dared to do this. He grabbed the President's arm and fixing him with a death glare in a stern tone said, "Alright, that's enough. Your office NOW," while dragging the President in that direction. A relieved CJ, Toby, Charlie and anyone else who was standing around to witness that, breathed a sigh of relief. Tensions inside the Oval Office however were running a bit higher. Once inside the Oval Leo let go of Jed. With his hands on his hips Jed just looked at Leo. 

"What the hell gives you the right Leo, What gives you the right? I'm the God damn President, and who the hell does she think she is? She can't deal with the pressure; we aren't kids in a playground. This is the real world. So what gives you the right to walk out and abandon me, then waltz right back in here and take over? I'M THE GOD DAMN PRESIDENT!" Jed finished up screaming. His blood pressure had to be through the roof. 

"Jed, if you're pissed at me, yell at me, do not take out your personal issues on her. CJ doesn't deserve this. Stop taking this out on Abbey and CJ. This is between us Jed, if this were 40 years ago we could go out behind the barn and go 10 rounds but it's not, so let's deal," Leo's voice was also raised at this point. "Oh and by the way what gives me the right to stand up to you Jed, is that no one else will. You think I'm intimidated by you? News flash, I'm not. You're right, I'll give it to you, I left, but it was you who fired me, MR. PRESIDENT." 

Jed visibly winced with the last part of that, it was a low blow. He knew Leo was still bitter about that. Hell, he was still torn up about it too. 

A much calmed Leo started again, "Jed, it's not your fault I had this heart attack, just like it's not your fault that you have MS, but WE have to deal with it, just like WE have dealt with everything else in the past TOGETHER. From your from issues with your father, to my alcoholism, we've always had to stop fighting and do it together, or we don't do it." Leo was now much closer to Jed. 

Jed knew that tone well, he knew he pushed Leo too far and if he didn't get a girp on himself soon, Leo was going to push him back ten fold. So Jed said the only thing he could think of, "Leo, we never fight." 

Leo chuckled at that, "No we usually just have a staring contest where we battle in our heads until one of us breaks." 

Jed put his head down and mumbled, "I'm sorry Leo." 

"Wait, what was that? I couldn't quite hear you" 

"Shut Up." 

Putting his arm around Jed, Leo said, "I know you're sorry. It wasn't your fault and I don't blame you for anything. We were just having one of our typical standoffs. You were right about Camp David." 

Jed cut Leo off, "No I wasn't Leo, I should have had you there with me. It wouldn't have mattered if I brought peace to the Middle East if you weren't there too, at least not to me or the staff. I should have stopped and talked to you, we should have discussed what was going on." 

"Jed, it's OK. You have to stop this though. You can't live in denial anymore. You have Multiple Sclerosis, and you have to manage it. You don't want Abbey hovering, I understand that, but she isn't going to stop caring. You also have to stop yelling at CJ. Jed, what would the difference have been if she'd woken you up? I wouldn't have and you know it. If I woke you up every time Jed..." Leo trailed off 

"But it's different, you would have handled it. You know the rumors Leo, we both know that they are true. We share this job; this office is as much yours as it is mine." 

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm here, I'll be around and I'll make the call, if that is the way that you will rest easier, then I will make the call." 

"You have to deal with the fact that you just had a heart attack Leo," Jed threw Leo's words back at him. Leo hated when Jed did that and Jed knew that. 

"Less than one year left. Next year I'll deal with it. Meanwhile, you can't avoid it anymore, you have to talk to Abbey. This job isn't just killing us, it's killing her too Jed. It's Valentine's Day, take her out tonight." 

"I know, I had plans for the opera and dinner, but I just don't want to deal with her now" 

Leo cut Jed off before he could say anymore, "I know. I'll always be here, but she needs you right now. I'll be here, I promise." 

"Thank you Leo, for everything." 

"Jed, don't even start with me, thank you for forty years. You have been there for me more times than either of us would like to remember. I'm going to go get some things organized." 

"OK, by the way Leo, in case I haven't said it recently" Jed paused he was most certainly more sentimental than Leo, but not in the office. He just lifted his head and looked Leo in the eye. 

Leo knew what he was saying in not so many words and replied, "I know, you too. (beat) No matter how much I want to kill you half the time." This earned a chuckle from both of them. 

Much of the day and evening passed the same way. Leo was getting ready to leave and he wanted to say goodnight to Jed before he left. He would have really liked to have surprised him in the residence that night, but knew that he and Abbey need time together. Before going into the Oval he walked into CJ's office to check on her. He heard yelling and screaming coming from the Oval. 

"Hey CJ." 

"Hey Leo." 

Nodding towards the Oval Office Leo asked, "How long have they been going at it?" 

Looking at her watch CJ said, "Oh, I would say about fifteen minutes now." 

Leo pinched the bridge of his nose and said, "Alright CJ, thanks. It may get ugly in there. If you want to get going, feel free," Leo was preparing himself for war, Bartlet style. 

"Thanks Leo, Happy Valentine's Day." 

"You too CJ," Leo turned to head into the Oval. He opened the door and just stood in the doorway for a minute listening to President and Dr. Bartlet take low blows at each other. 

"Jed, you're a jackass." 

"You don't understand Abigail, and you never will." 

"I don't understand!!! I don't understand??? Who does? Leo? Why is he always the only one who can understand you? Why is that Jed? Maybe because he is the only one you let understand you? Maybe if my jackass of a husband would explain it to me I could understand? Maybe if you stopped sulking, or stopped avoiding me by working to all hours of the night, because God forbid Leo isn't around." 

"Abbey don't you dare bring Leo into this." 

"Don't bring Leo into this? How could I not, he is in everything Jed, if you are involved then so is he. You two barely piss without the other knowing." 

"Well maybe if my out of control freak of a wife didn't ban him from the west wing and the residence, we wouldn't have this problem because he would have been here when I needed him." 

That was it for Leo; he thought now was a good time to make his presence known. "Here's a thought, maybe Leo can think for himself?" Leo stated. Both of their heads whipped around. Leo was surprised they didn't get whiplash. "I'm surprised they didn't hear you guys in New Hampshire. I never understood what you two got out of screaming at each other at the top of your lungs." 

"He's so God damn frustrating Leo." 

"You don't have to tell me that Abbey," Leo replied, prompting Jed to roll his eyes at them. Then Jed and Leo caught each other's eyes and held that look for a second. 

"See that's it right there. You two just had a whole conversation like no one else was in the room," Abbey said, frustrated. 

"Jed, sit down," Leo began. Jed and Leo took their usual spots, Jed in the armed chair on the left and Leo in the one on the right, while Abbey sat on the couch. "Now, we are going to discuss this like three rational adults." Turning to Jed, Leo said, "Jed, you have MS. It's a fact. God knows I would do anything in my power to change that, but I can't, and neither can you. I know Abbey feels the same way. But you have this awful disease, you are not getting any younger, and it's only going to get worse. You have to take care of yourself." Turning towards Abbey he continued, "HE has to take care of HIMself. Abbey, you can not run his life. You can not have CJ run every last detail by you. It isn't fair to her. AND you cannot put the fear of God into him that I'm going to drop dead from walking in the west wing OR the residence." He turned back towards Jed, "However Jed, if you don't take care of yourself Abbey and I will intervene. As for me and my distance from the White House and more importantly the residence," Leo pauses and takes Jed's hands in his, "it's not all Abbey's fault. When in the thirty something years that you have been married to Abbey has something she said ever kept me from your bed? Or doing something I wanted too. I'm just as stubborn as you, remember. I'll make it up to you I promise." 

Once again the eye contact between Jed and Leo outlined a whole conversation that the two would be having in the near future. Jed let go of Leo's hands and ran his own through his hair. "I apologize," Jed said, "to both of you. Abbey, I should have talked to you about it. I guess I need to apologize to CJ too." 

"You are already sending her flowers, Margaret took care of that," Leo stated. 

"Leo, I don't know what I would do without you. If I had a nickel for every time I thought that, I would be as rich as you," Jed said, trying to lighten the mood. He got an eye roll from Leo. 

"Why don't the two of you go up to the residence and relax. Leo's room should be made up already," Abbey suggested. 

"Abbey, it's Valentine's Day, you two should go out for dinner, I never wanted to ruin that." 

"You aren't ruining anything Leo. How many Valentine's Days have I had? You both need this." 

"Thank you Abbey," they both said together, and then smirked at each other. 

"Oh my guys, I swear you two are still like a couple of school boys. Please take care of yourselves, I love you both." Looking at Leo, Abbey said, "Believe me I will start taking care of myself." 

"Thank you Abbey," Leo replied. 

They both got up to give Abbey a kiss before heading out of the Oval and up to the residence. As they reached the door Abbey called out to them, "Remember boys, not too late, you aren't as young as you used to be." They all laughed at her mother-henning so soon after Leo had argued that she needed to let them manage their own health. 

They walked out through the portico as separate entities. No one would know the emotional turmoil that they were going through, and had been going through for the past few months. That would come to an end tonight; everything was going to get settled once and for all. To the outside world Jed and Leo look like two businessmen, friends walking to the residence for a working dinner. Little did the outside world know this was anything but a business dinner. Rather, it was two friends, best friends, no, two lovers, walking towards their confessional ready to receive their penance and be reconciled. They got upstairs to the hallway outside the living room of the residence and since Jed was a step ahead of Leo, or rather Leo was the respectful step behind the President, Jed held the door open for him and Leo walked in. The step behind the President thing bothered Jed almost as much as the Sir thing. Jed had repeatedly tried to trip Leo up but always ended up making a fool of himself. Once inside the living room of the residence Leo took his suit jacket off, folded it over the back of the arm chair, and undid the first couple of buttons of his dress shirt. Jed did the same and rolled up his sleeves too. Leo walked over to the wet bar and poured a glass of water for himself and a brandy for Jed. Leo gave Jed his brandy and sat down next to him on the couch, the two within arm's reach of each other. Leo's arm was draped along the back of the couch just able to touch the back of Jed's neck at his hairline. Jed finally turned his head to look at Leo and just stared. 

"Go ahead, I know you are dying to ask me your question," Leo said. 

Jed sighed, "Why did you leave, why did you leave me?" 

"Oh Jed, I didn't leave you. I thought you didn't want me here, that you didn't need me anymore. I felt like extra baggage." 

Jed turned so he is fully facing Leo, "You were never and will never be extra baggage to me. Why would you think that?" 

"I don't know, I've just felt that way since the baseball game. You weren't listening to me anymore, and I didn't know what to do to get you to listen. Why weren't you listening to me anymore?" 

Jed ducked his head. He knew he'd messed up. "I was sick of hearing from everyone that I couldn't do this. That it was your White House, that you ran everything. It's not like I don't know it, but it's one thing for me to say it to you and another thing for everyone else to say it." 

"You know it never mattered what anyone else said, right? When you were at Camp David, I knew what everyone was saying. They knew something wasn't right. I wasn't there but I couldn't stand to be there and have you shut me out. I've seen you do it to people before and you're good at it, I've just never been on the receiving end of it and I didn't know how to deal. Then when you called my bluff, you actually fired me, I just wanted to die. I haven't been without you for over forty years now Jed, and I didn't think I could do it." 

"I just wanted to show everyone I still had it at Camp David. I know this Presidency is coming to an end, and I don't want to be one of those presidents that people have no idea what their name is, like Cleveland or Tyler, and I was just so desperate..." Jed trailed off. Then he put his hand on Leo's leg, "I would never have fired you. I thought it was just us taking each other out for a go. Then when Ron came in and told me you were missing, the first thing I thought was I drove you to drink and I was ready to search every bar in DC to find you. All I wanted to do was hold you in my arms and tell you how sorry I was, how scared I was, and that I loved you." 

"Jed, I never needed an excuse to drink, I've told you that a million times, and I know you love me, and I'm here now I'm not going anywhere." 

"But you did Leo, I stayed in the hospital with you until they threw me out, I thought it was all ok then, but you stayed away." 

"You told me to Jed, I thought you still didn't want me." 

"Damn it, it was Abbey, she convinced me I would kill you if you stayed in the White House. Then everything went down hill, and I just didn't want you too see how bad I was doing without you. Then this God damn MS..." 

"Shhhhhhhhhh, I'm here now, you could never disappoint me Jed. We are in this together, forever." They'd both said what needed to be said, Leo could feel the months of strain in their relationship just evaporating now that that was done. 

"And a day" Jed replied with a half smile. This was an old running phrase that comforted both of them in hard times throughout the years. 

Leo mirrored the smirk and said, "You once asked me to jump off a cliff for you, and you remember what I said?" Leo asked, tilting Jed's chin up to look him in the eyes. 

Jed with his half smile looked and Leo and said, "Only if my best friend jumps with me." 

"We are both falling off that cliff now Jed, but at least we are falling together, and will hit the ground running with each other." 

Jed's only reply was a gentle kiss on the lips. Leo deepened the kiss and when he pulled back brushed the hair that fell in Jed's eyes out of the way. "I love you Jed, let's go to bed and instead of falling for a little while let's fly to the moon." 

"I love you more than you know Leo, and I'll fly anywhere as long as you take me there." 


End file.
